Khud jalva-e siinaa’ii — shaida chiini – liu yuNg ven
1
kya jaane junuuN teri kya uss ko ada bhaa’ii
Khud husn meN paata huN sauda-e paziiraa’ii
2
biinaa’ii to paida kar aye chashm-e tamannaa’ii
ho jaa’ega har jalva Khud jalva-e siinaa’ii
3
ho ahd-e bahaaraaN meN takmiil-e junuuN aisi
diivaane pukaar uTTheN saudaa’ii hai saudaa’ii
4
ayyaam-e judaa’ii meN shikve ka to mauqa tha
ab kis ko dikhaa’eN ham ye ranj-e shakebaa’ii
5
diivaana-e manzil bhi bargashta-e manzil hai
shaa’ed keh na kaam aa’ii kuchh baadiya-paimaa’ii
6
zabt-e Gham-e furqat meN ashkoN ne bharam khola
manzoor na thi varna ham ko teri rusvaa’ii
7
ye fikr o nazar hi ki vus’at ka karishma hai
mahdood jo hai shaida aflaak ki pehnaa’ii

shaida chiini-liu yuNg ven (1931-2015), born in kalkatta, but family moved to jamshedpur in 1934 where shaida lived and worked as a dentist.  His family spoke Chinese as their first language, but were fluent in urdu.  His early schooling was in urdu, switched to English and then back to urdu in high school.  Fell in love with it and memorised ash’aar.  He read his first Ghazal at a mushaa’era in 1951.  He played a Chinese instrument known as the Moon Lute often along with his Ghazal reading at mushaa’era.  He was a member of the Progressive Writers’ Association but not very active in it.  In an interview to the Deccan Herald he said, “”I am a Buddhist by birth and a communist by heart, but Urdu is the language of my soul. It is not the language of any one religion; it is the language of culture and humanity. My children are Christians, my daughters find peace in Shiva and Sai Baba—we are a miniature India under one roof.”  He himself has written several n’aat – odes to mohammed, the founder of islaam.  He was deeply disappointed (perhaps disillusioned) because of his mistreatment after the India-China war of 1962 and later religious riots of 1964.  His work was collected and published by family and friends towards the end of his life, while he was bedridden.
1
kya jaane junuuN¹ teri kya uss ko ada² bhaa’ii³
Khud husn meN paata⁴ huN sauda⁵-e paziiraa’ii⁶

1.madness, passion personfied to mean lover 2.style 3.pleased 4.find, see 5.desire 6.acceptance

The poet observes a strange dynamic between “madness” (junoon) and “beauty” (husn). Usually, the lover (the mad one) seeks the beloved (husn) and beauty is indifferent.  But here, the poet notes that beauty itself seems to possess a “craving for acceptance” (sauda-e paziiraa’ii). If beauty were to be interpreted as the divine glory, then this she’r suggests that the divine or the beautiful is not indifferent; it actually desires to be seen and appreciated by the seeker.
2
biinaa’ii¹ to paida² kar aye chashm³-e tamannaa’ii⁴
ho jaa’ega har jalva⁵ Khud jalva-e siinaa’ii⁶

1.discerning vision 2.develop 3.eye 4.desiring, yearning 5.manifestation 6.mount sinai

This she’r references the “Vision of Sinai” (jalva-e siinaa’ii), where Moses/moosa saw the divine light. The poet tells the “eye of desire” that the problem isn’t a lack of miracles in the world, but a lack of true “insight/discerning vision” (biinaa’ii). If one develops the internal capacity to truly see, then every ordinary sight in the universe transforms into a divine epiphany.
3
ho ahd¹-e bahaaraaN² meN takmiil³-e junuuN⁴ aisi
diivaane pukaar uTTheN saudaa’ii⁵ hai saudaa’ii

1.age, times 2.spring 3.completion, perfection 4.madnes, passion 5.mad

In the “season of spring” (ahd-e bahaaraaN), which is traditionally the time when madness peaks, the poet wishes for his passion to reach such “perfection” (takmiil) that even other “madmen” (diivaane) are taken aback. He wants his obsession to be so pure and intense that even those who are already lost in love point at him and call him truly “mad” (saudaa’ii).
4
ayyaam¹-e judaa’ii² meN shikve³ ka to mauqa⁴ tha
ab kis ko dikhaa’eN ham ye ranj-e shakebaa’ii⁵

1.days 2.separation 3.complaint 4.opportunity 5.patience, forbearance

The poet reflects on the irony of patience. During the “days of separation” (ayyaam-e judaa’ii), one could at least complain or lament. But now, having endured the pain with “patience” (shakebaa’ii), he finds himself in a lonely spot. To whom can he show the silent, heavy grief that comes from being strong? The “sorrow of patience” is often more isolating than the “sorrow of complaint.”
5
diivaana¹-e manzil² bhi bargashta³-e manzil hai
shaa’ed⁴ keh na kaam aa’ii kuchh baadiya-paimaa’ii⁵

1.mad/passionate about 2.destination 3.turned away 4.perhaps 5.wanding in the desert

This is about disillusionment. Even the one who was obsessed with reaching the “destination” (manzil) has now turned away from it (bargashta). The poet suggests that all the “wandering of the wilderness” (baadiya-paimaa’ii) – all the effort and searching – perhaps yielded nothing. This is an unusual she’r because conventionally, the seeker never attains his goal, but also never turns away from the destination.  I am not sure I understand this break from convention.
6
zabt¹-e Gham-e furqat² meN ashkoN³ ne bharam⁴ khola
manzoor⁵ na thi varna⁶ ham ko teri rusvaa’ii⁷

1.forbearance, restraint 2.separation 3.tears 4.secret 5.acceptable 6.otherwise 7.disgrace

Poetic convention requires the lover to keep his love hidden so as not to malign the beloved’s reputation.  The poet tried his best to “restrain” (zabt) the grief of separation to protect the beloved’s reputation. However, his tears betrayed him and “revealed the secret” (bharam khola). He claims that he never intended to cause the beloved “disgrace” (rusvaa’ii) by letting the world know of his love, but the body’s physical reaction (tears) was beyond his control.
7
ye fikr¹ o nazar² hi ki vus’at³ ka karishma⁴ hai
mahdood⁵ jo hai shaida⁶ aflaak⁷ ki pehnaa’ii⁸

1.thought, reason 2.vision 3.expanse 4.miracle 5.limited 6.pen-name 7.skies 8.breadth, spread

In this grand closing (maqta), shaida elevates the human spirit. He argues that the “vastness of thought and vision” (fikr o nazar) is so immense that even the “breadth of the heavens” (aflaak ki pehnaa’ii) seems “limited” (mahdood) in comparison. It is a miracle of human consciousness that we can conceive of things far larger and deeper than the physical universe itself.