kucch to mera Khayaal bhi – parveen shakir

For word meanings and explanatory discussion in English click on the tabs marked “Roman” or “Notes”.

کچھ تو مرا خیال بھی ۔ پروین شاکر

۱

کچھ تو ہوا بھی سرد تھی کچھ تھا ترا خیال بھی

دل کو خوشی کے ساتھ ساتھ ہوتا رہا ملال بھی

۲

بات وہ آدھی رات کی رات وہ پورے چاند کی

چاند بھی عین چیت کا اس پہ ترا جمال بھی

۳

سب سے نظر بچا کے وہ مجھ کو کچھ ایسے دیکھتا

ایک دفعہ تو رک گئی گردشِ ماہ و سال بھی

۴

دل تو چمک سکے گا کیا پھر بھی تَرَش کے دیکھ لیں

شیشہ گرانِ شہر کے ہاتھ کا یہ کمال بھی

۵

اس کو نہ پا سکے تھے جب دل کا عجیب حال تھا

اب جو پلٹ کے دیکھیے بات تھی کچھ محال بھی

۶

میری طلب تھا ایک شخص وہ جو نہیں ملا تو پھر

ہاتھ دعا سے یوں گرا بھول گیا سوال بھی

۷

اس کی سخن طرازیاں میرے لیے بھی ڈھال تھیں

اس کی ہنسی میں چھپ گیا اپنے غموں کا حال بھی

۸

گاہ قریبِ شاہ رگ گاہ بعیدِ وہم و خواب

اس کی رفاقتوں میں رات ہجر بھی تھا وصال بھی

۹

اُس کے ہی بازوؤں میں اور اُس کو ہی سوچتے رہے

جسم کی خواہشوں پہ تھے روح کے اور جال بھی

۱۰

شام کی نا سمجھ ہوا پوچھ رہی ہے اک پتا

موجِ ہوائے کوئے یار کچھ تو مرا خیال بھی

कुछ तो मेरा ख़याल भी – पर्वीन शाकर

कुछ तो हवा भी सर्द थी कुछ था तेरा ख़याल भी

दिल को ख़ुशी के साथ साथ होता रहा मलाल भी

बात वो आधी रात की रात वो पूरे चाँद की

चाँद भी ऐन चैत का उस पे तेरा जमाल भी

सब से नज़र बचा के वो मुझ को कुछ ऐसे देखता

एक दफ़ा तो रुक गई गर्दिश-ए-माह-ओ-साल भी

दिल तो चमक सकेगा क्या फिर भी तरश के देख लें

शीशा-गरान-ए-शहर के हाथ का ये कमाल भी

उस को न पा सके थे जब दिल का अजीब हाल था

अब जो पलट के देखिए बात थी कुछ मुहाल भी

मेरी तलब था एक शख़्स वो जो नहीं मिला तो फिर

हाथ दुआ से यूँ गिरा भूल गया सवाल भी

उस की सोख़न-तराज़ियाँ मेरे लिए भी ढाल थीं

उस की हँसी में छुप गया अपने ग़मों का हाल भी

गाह क़रीब-ए-शाह-रग गाह बईद-ए-वहम-ओ-ख़्वाब

उस की रफ़ाक़तों में रात हिज्र भी था विसाल भी

उस के ही बाज़ुओं में और उस को ही सोचते रहे

जिस्म की ख़्वाहशों पे थे रूह के और जाल भी

१०

शाम की ना-समझ हवा पूछ रही है एक पता

मौज-ए-हवा-ए-कू-ए-यार कुछ तो मेरा ख़याल भी

 

Click here for background and on any passage for word meanings and explanatory discussion. parveen shakir (1952-1994), English literature and linguistics, correspondent, educator, Pakistan Civil Service officer. Prolific writer bringing new thought and new forthright, feminist style to urdu shaa’eri. An explicit expression of love by women was taboo until courageous poets like parveen shakir pioneered it. The is a beautiful expression of love found and followed by disappointment.
1
kuchh to hava bhi sard1 thi kuchh tha tera Khayaal bhi
dil ko Khushi ke saath saath hota raha malaal2 bhi    
1.cool 2.pain, sorrow
It is a cool pleasant evening and she is enjoying the weather as well thinking about her beloved. But her feelings are mixed, pain mixed with joy.

2
baat vo aadhi raat ki raat vo puure chaand ki
chaand bhi ain1 chaiyt2 ka us pe tera jamaal3 bhi    
1.main, principal 2.winter month 3.beauty, glory
The full moon of spring is particularly evocative of love. At midnight in spring, she is looking at the full moon. In the full moon she sees the beloved’s beauty. Alternatively, she is looking at the full moon and on top of it at the beloved’s beautiful face.

3
sab se nazar bacha ke vo mujh ko kuchh aise dekhta
ek dafa to ruk gaii gardish1-e maah-o-saal2 bhi    
1.movement, flow 2.month and year, used here to mean time
He would look at her when no one else was looking, with such longing, that it seemed as if time stood still.

4
dil to chamak sakega kya phir bhi tarash1 ke dekh leN
shisha-giraan2-e shahr ke haath ka ye kamaal3 bhi    
1.sculpt, carve, polish 2.glass cutters, mirror polishers 3.skill, talent
How can my heart be made to shine again, but still, we might try the skill of the mirror polishers of this town. In poetic convention the heart is a mirror, and mirror polishers could be any those who help heal wounded hearts.

5
us ko na pa sake the jab dil ka ajiib1 haal2 tha
ab jo palaT3 ke dekhiye baat thi kuchh muhaal4 bhi    
1.strange 2.condition 3.turn back 4.difficult
When I could not get him (achieve reciprocated love) the heart was in a strange (restless) condition. Now that things have changed and I look back at what happened, I realize how difficult things were. So, it is no surprise that we separated.

6
meri talab1 tha ek shaKhs vo jo nahiN mila to phir
haath dua se yuuN gira bhuul gaya savaal bhi    
1.demand, desire
My desire was just that one person, no other. The person that I had imagined him to be. When I did not get him (or in the light of the previous she’r, he turned out to be different), my hands raised in prayer, dropped such that they even forgot what I was asking for.

7
us ki suKhan-taraaziyaaN1 mere liye bhi Dhaal2 thiiN
us ki haNsi meN chhup gaya apne GhamoN ka haal3 bhi    
1.embellishment of speech/words 2.protective shield 3.condition
He embellished his words, spoke words of love, that became a protective shield for me. His joyful mirth hid my own painful condition.

8
gaah1 qarib2-e shah-rag4 gaah1 ba’iid5-e vahm-o-Khwaab6
us ki rafaqatoN7 meN raat hijr8 bhi tha visaal9 bhi    
1.moment 2.near 3.jugular vein 5.separate, further away, different 6.illusion and dream 7.friendship, love 8.being away 9.union
One moment as close as the jugular vein, the next moment even further away than an illusion or a dream. Nights with him were both separation and union. This could be changing moods, changing feelings – a constant struggle.

9
us ke hi bazuoN1 meN aur us ko hi sochte rahe
jism ki KhwaahishoN pe the ruuh2 ke aur jaal3 bhi     
1.arms 2.spirit 3.cobwebs
I was in his arms and was thinking about him (about he used to be and how things could have been). Overlaid on the desires of the body were many cobwebs.

10
shaam ki na-samajh1 hava poochh rahi hai ek pata
mauj-e hava-e koo2-e yaar kuchh to mera Khayaal bhi    
1.ignorant, unfeeling, unaware 2.lane, street
The cool breeze of the evening is unfeeling and cruel because it is asking his whereabouts and he is away. It pains her. She asks the blowing breeze of the street of the beloved to be a little more mindful of her feelings.

parveen shakir (1952-1994), English literature and linguistics, correspondent, educator, Pakistan Civil Service officer.  Prolific writer bringing new thought and new forthright, feminist style to urdu shaa’eri.  An explicit expression of love by women was taboo until courageous poets like parveen shakir pioneered it.  The is a beautiful expression of love found and followed by disappointment.
1
kuchh to hava bhi sard1 thi kuchh tha tera Khayaal bhi
dil ko Khushi ke saath saath hota raha malaal2 bhi

1.cool 2.pain, sorrow

It is a cool pleasant evening and she is enjoying the weather as well thinking about her beloved.  But her feelings are mixed, pain mixed with joy.
2
baat vo aadhi raat ki raat vo puure chaand ki
chaand bhi ain1 chaiyt2 ka us pe tera jamaal3 bhi

1.main, principal 2.winter month 3.beauty, glory

The full moon of spring is particularly evocative of love.  At midnight in spring, she is looking at the full moon.  In the full moon she sees the beloved’s beauty.  Alternatively, she is looking at the full moon and on top of it at the beloved’s beautiful face.
3
sab se nazar bacha ke vo mujh ko kuchh aise dekhta
ek dafa to ruk gaii gardish1-e maah-o-saal2 bhi

1.movement, flow 2.month and year, used here to mean time

He would look at her when no one else was looking, with such longing, that it seemed as if time stood still.
4
dil to chamak sakega kya phir bhi tarash1 ke dekh leN
shisha-giraan2-e shahr ke haath ka ye kamaal3 bhi

1.sculpt, carve, polish 2.glass cutters, mirror polishers 3.skill, talent

How can my heart be made to shine again, but still, we might try the skill of the mirror polishers of this town.  In poetic convention the heart is a mirror, and mirror polishers could be any those who help heal wounded hearts.
5
us ko na pa sake the jab dil ka ajiib1 haal2 tha
ab jo palaT3 ke dekhiye baat thi kuchh muhaal4 bhi

1.strange 2.condition 3.turn back 4.difficult

When I could not get him (achieve reciprocated love) the heart was in a strange (restless) condition.  Now that things have changed and I look back at what happened, I realize how difficult things were.  So, it is no surprise that we separated.
6
meri talab1 tha ek shaKhs vo jo nahiN mila to phir
haath dua se yuuN gira bhuul gaya savaal bhi

1.demand, desire

My desire was just that one person, no other.  The person that I had imagined him to be.  When I did not get him (or in the light of the previous she’r, he turned out to be different), my hands raised in prayer, dropped such that they even forgot what I was asking for.
7
us ki suKhan-taraaziyaaN1 mere liye bhi Dhaal2 thiiN
us ki haNsi meN chhup gaya apne GhamoN ka haal3 bhi

1.embellishment of speech/words 2.protective shield 3.condition

He embellished his words, spoke words of love, that became a protective shield for me.  His joyful mirth hid my own painful condition.
8
gaah1 qarib2-e shah-rag4 gaah1 ba’iid5-e vahm-o-Khwaab6
us ki rafaqatoN7 meN raat hijr8 bhi tha visaal9 bhi

1.moment 2.near 3.jugular vein 5.separate, further away, different 6.illusion and dream 7.friendship, love 8.being away 9.union

One moment as close as the jugular vein, the next moment even further away than an illusion or a dream.  Nights with him were both separation and union.  This could be changing moods, changing feelings – a constant struggle.
9
us ke hi bazuoN1 meN aur us ko hi sochte rahe
jism ki KhwaahishoN pe the ruuh2 ke aur jaal3 bhi

1.arms 2.spirit 3.cobwebs

I was in his arms and was thinking about him (about he used to be and how things could have been).  Overlaid on the desires of the body were many cobwebs.
10
shaam ki na-samajh1 hava poochh rahi hai ek pata
mauj-e hava-e koo2-e yaar kuchh to mera Khayaal bhi

1.ignorant, unfeeling, unaware 2.lane, street

The cool breeze of the evening is unfeeling and cruel because it is asking his whereabouts and he is away.  It pains her.  She asks the blowing breeze of the street of the beloved to be a little more mindful of her feelings.

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