bhool jaauNgi-parveen shakir

For word meanings and explanatory discussion in English click on the “English” or “Notes” tab.

بھول جاؤں گی ۔ پروین شاکر

۱

کمالِ ضبط کو خود بھی تو آزماؤں گی

میں اپنے ہاتھ سے اُس کی دلہن سجاؤں گی

۲

سُپرد کر کے اُسے چاندنی کے ہاتھوں میں

میں اپنے گھر کے اندھیروں میں لوٹ آؤں گی

۳

بدن کے کرب کو وہ بھی سمجھ نہ پائے گا

میں دِل میں روؤں گی، آنکھوں میں مسکراؤں گی

۴

وہ کیا گیا کہ رفاقت کے سارے لطف گئے

میں کِس سے روٹھ سکوں گی، ِکسے مناؤں گی

۵

اب اُس کا فن تو کسی اور سے ہوا منسوب

میں کس کی نظم اکیلے میں گنگناؤں گی

۶

وہ ایک رِشتۂ بے نام بھی نہیں لیکن

میں اب بھی اُس کے اِشاروں پہ سر جھکاؤں گی

۷

بِچھا دیا تھا گلابوں کے ساتھ اپنا وجود

وہ سو کے اُٹّھے تو خوابوں کی راکھ اُٹھاؤں گی

۸

سماعتوں میں گھنے جنگلوں کی سانسیں ہیں

میں اب کبھی تیری آواز سُن نہ پاؤں گی

۹

جواز ڈھونڈ رہا تھا نئی محبّت کا

وہ کہہ رہا تھا کہ میں اُس کو بھول جاؤں گی

भूल जाऊंगी – परवीन शाकिर

कमाल-ए ज़ब्त को ख़ुद भी तो आज़्माऊंगी

मैं अपने हाथ से उस की दुलहन सजाऊंगी

सुपुर्द कर के उसे चांदनी के हाथौं में

मैं अपने घर के अंधेरों में लौट आऊंगी

बदन के कर्ब को वो भी समझ न पाएगा

मैं दिल में रोऊंगी आंखौं में मुस्कुराऊंगी

वो क्या गया के रिफ़ाक़त के सारे लुत्फ़ गए

मैं किस से रूठ सकूंगी, किसे मनाऊंगी

अब उस का फ़न तो किसी और से हुआ मन्सूब

मैं किस की नज़्म अकेले में गुनगुनाऊंगी

वो एक रिश्ता-ए बे नाम भी नहीं लैकिन

मैं अब भी उस के इशारौं पे सर झुकाऊंगी

बिछा दिया था गुलाबों के साथ अपना वुजूद

वो सो के उट्ठे तो ख़्वाबों की राख उठाऊंगी

समा’अतौं में घने जंगलौं की सांसें हैं

मैं अब कभी तेरी आवाज़ सुन न पाऊंगी

जुवाज़ ढून्ढ रहा था नयी मोहब्बत का

वो कह रहा था के मैं उस को भूल जाऊंगी

 

Click here for background and on any passage for word meanings and explanatory discussion. parvin shakir (1952-1994), English literature and linguistics, correspondent, educator, Pakistan Civil Service. Prolific writer bringing new thought and new forthright, feminist style to urdu shaa’eri. It was very unusual for women poets to write in the first person, active voice, female gender. It was unheard of for them to express love or disappointment or to describe male beauty. parveen shakir broke all these conventions. This musalsil Ghazal is a mixture of autobiographical and that which happens to all women. She is speaking beautifully and courageiously for woman.
1
kamaal1-e zabt2 ko Khud bhi to aazmaauNgi3
maiN apne haath se us ki dulhan sajaauNgi
1.ability 2.self-control 3.try
It is not clear whether the poet is already married to her beloved or he has broken off their engagement/relationship or is simply taking on a second wife. In any case the poet is going to try out her ability of self-control and prim up his (new) bride.

2
supurd1 kar ke use chaandni ke haathauN meN
maiN apne ghar ke andherauN meN lauT aauNgi
1.consign, to give responsibility for
I will leave him to enjoy the beauty of moonlight (with his new/other bride) and return to the darkness of my own abode.

3
badan ke karb1 ko vo bhi samajh na paayega
maiN dil meN ro’uNgi aaNkhauN meN muskuraauNgi   
1.pain
Even he (who knows me intimately) will not be able to guess my pain. I will show my smile, but keep my tears inside.

4
vo kya gaya ke rifaaqat1 ke saare lutf2 gaye
maiN kis se rooTh sakuNgi, kise manaauNgi   
1.friendship 2.pleasures
All the pleasures of friendship went with him. Now I have no one to get annoyed with, no one to make up with.

5
ab us ka fun1 to kisi aur se hua mansoob2
maiN kis ki nazm akele meN gungunaauNgi    
1.art, talent 2.associated
The poet/lover thinks of her beloved also as a poet. Now his talent/art/poetry will be associated with someone else. She is at a loss on whose poem/tune she will now hum.

6
vo ek rishta1-e be-naam2 bhi nahiN laikin
maiN ab bhi us ke ishaarauN3 pe sar jhukaauNgi   
1.relationship 2.nameless, forgotten 3.signals
Their relationship is broken. But she still feels a traditional obligation. After all he is not a forgotten relationship. I will still mind signals that I get.

7
bichha diya tha gulaabauN ke saath apna vujood1
vo so ke uTThe to KhwaabauN ki raakh uThaauNgi   
1.existence, person
Not only is she helping prim up his new bride, she had spread herself (her feelings) on the bed along with rose petals. When he wakes up in the morning, I will pick up the ashes of my dreams.

8
sama’atauN1 meN ghane jangalauN ki saaNseN haiN
maiN ab kabhi teri aavaaz sun na paauNgi   
1.voices
All I hear is the wind blowing through thick forest (I am lost in the jungle, in a storm). I will never be able to hear his voice again in these stormy times.

9
javaaz1 DhoonD raha tha nayii mohabbat ka
vo kah raha tha ke maiN us ko bhool jaauNgi   
1.justification
He was looking for a justification/excuse to find a new love. He said that I was going to forget him (that was his excuse, or he thought that I would forget him, but I did not).

parvin shakir (1952-1994), English literature and linguistics, correspondent, educator, Pakistan Civil Service.  Prolific writer bringing new thought and new forthright, feminist style to urdu shaa’eri.  It was very unusual for women poets to write in the first person, active voice, female gender.  It was unheard of for them to express love or disappointment or to describe male beauty.  parveen shakir broke all these conventions.  This musalsil Ghazal is a mixture of autobiographical and that which happens to all women.  She is speaking beautifully and courageiously for woman.
1
kamaal1-e zabt2 ko Khud bhi to aazmaauNgi3
maiN apne haath se us ki dulhan sajaauNgi

1.ability 2.self-control 3.try

It is not clear whether the poet is already married to her beloved or he has broken off their engagement/relationship or is simply taking on a second wife.  In any case the poet is going to try out her ability of self-control and prim up his (new) bride.
2
supurd1 kar ke use chaandni ke haathauN meN
maiN apne ghar ke andherauN meN lauT aauNgi

1.consign, to give responsibility for

I will leave him to enjoy the beauty of moonlight (with his new/other bride) and return to the darkness of my own abode.
3
badan ke karb1 ko vo bhi samajh na paayega
maiN dil meN ro’uNgi aaNkhauN meN muskuraauNgi

1.pain

Even he (who knows me intimately) will not be able to guess my pain.  I will show my smile, but keep my tears inside.
4
vo kya gaya ke rifaaqat1 ke saare lutf2 gaye
maiN kis se rooTh sakuNgi, kise manaauNgi

1.friendship 2.pleasures

All the pleasures of friendship went with him.  Now I have no one to get annoyed with, no one to make up with.
5
ab us ka fun1 to kisi aur se hua mansoob2
maiN kis ki nazm akele meN gungunaauNgi

1.art, talent 2.associated

The poet/lover thinks of her beloved also as a poet.  Now his talent/art/poetry will be associated with someone else.  She is at a loss on whose poem/tune she will now hum.
6
vo ek rishta1-e be-naam2 bhi nahiN laikin
maiN ab bhi us ke ishaarauN3 pe sar jhukaauNgi

1.relationship 2.nameless, forgotten 3.signals

Their relationship is broken.  But she still feels a traditional obligation.  After all he is not a forgotten relationship.  I will still mind signals that I get.
7
bichha diya tha gulaabauN ke saath apna vujood1
vo so ke uTThe to KhwaabauN ki raakh uThaauNgi

1.existence, person

Not only is she helping prim up his new bride, she had spread herself (her feelings) on the bed along with rose petals.  When he wakes up in the morning, I will pick up the ashes of my dreams.
8
sama’atauN1 meN ghane jangalauN ki saaNseN haiN
maiN ab kabhi teri aavaaz sun na paauNgi

1.voices

All I hear is the wind blowing through thick forest (I am lost in the jungle, in a storm).  I will never be able to hear his voice again in these stormy times.
9
javaaz1 DhoonD raha tha nayii mohabbat ka
vo kah raha tha ke maiN us ko bhool jaauNgi

1.justification

He was looking for a justification/excuse to find a new love.  He said that I was going to forget him (that was his excuse, or he thought that I would forget him, but I did not).

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