For word meanings and explanatory discussion in English click on the “Roman” or “Notes” tab. The final tab has an English translation by the poet herself.
Recitation
iqra Khilji-urdu
iqra Khilji-English
خبیث ۔ اقرأ خِلجی
۱
میں خبیث ہوں
میں غلیظ ہوں
میں آوارگی کی وکیل ہوں
۲
وہ ترانوں کی مجسّم نور میں نہیں
وہ فسانوں کی پاک حور میں نہیں
میں غلامِ نفس ہوں
میں حبابِ ہوس ہوں
میں زندہ ہوں، فگار ہوں
میں خودسری کا مِنار ہوں
میں انا کی اِنتہا بھی ہو سکتی ہوں
۳
چاہے تم مجھے کبھی نہ چھو سکو
چاہے تم مجھے مردۂ خس و خاشاک ہی سمجھو
میں کیوں جھوٹے ارمانوں کی قطار بنوں
میں خود غرض اُتنی ہی ہوں جتنے تم
میں کیوں پیکرِ بے غرض بنوں
میری زباں اُتنی ہی شیریں ہے جتنی تمہاری
میں کیوں صنمِ خوش اخلاق بنوں
۴
میں معمولی ہوں
مجھ پہ کیوں ذمّہ ہو ممتازی کا
تم کو غرور ہے خاص ہونے پر
پر مجھ کو زیادہ ہے الم، سرفرازی کا
۵
گر تمہیں شوقِ تبسّم ہے تو سنگِ مرمر کا سنم لے آو
میں تمہاری خوشی کی منتظر نہیں ہوں
میری جبیں کی سِلوٹیں تمہاری خوشی سے نہیں مٹیں گی
میری اعضائے رُخ کی حرکت تمہاری تابع نہیں ہے
تمہاری خاطر بھی نہیں ہے
۶
میں زینت کا سامان نہیں ہوں
میں حیا کا فرمان نہیں ہوں
میں نزاکت نہیں جانتی
میں عبادت نہیں مانتی
۷
میں تمہاری توجّہ کی طلبگار نہیں ہوں
تمہارے بغیر مفلس و خوار نہیں ہوں
تمہاری حمایتوں کی محسن بھی نہیں ہوں
۸
تمہارے محلوں کی گرد رہوں برسوں
کہو یہ کیسا عہدِ وفا تھا
جب میں وہ طلسمِ پُر فن ہوں
جس نے تم کو جہاںگیر کیا تھا
۹
میں محرومِ ساحل نہیں ہوں
میرا تجسُّس مجھے معراج پر لے چلے گا
صفحۂ تاریخ مجھے بھول بھی جائیں
پر اہلِ وفا میری فاتحہ دیں گے
۱۰
جسم و ذہن کفن پوش آج کئی زمانوں سے ہیں
پر اِن عیّامِ ظلمت میں درخشاں ہے مجلس میری
یہ چرچا آسمانوں میں ہے
۱۱
میری قوتیں عیاں ہو چکی ہیں
سلاسل کب تک روک سکیں گے
مدارس کب تک ٹوک سکیں گے
میری جنبشیں رواں ہو چکی ہیں
۱۲
نظمِ پدری سے بغاوت ہے تحریک میری
کم زور و کم ظرف نہیں ہے تجویز میری
میں تمہارے وزارت خانوں کا رخ بھی کر چکی ہوں
اب یہ خیال چھوڑ دو
کہ آرائش ہے تخلیق میری
ख़बीस – एक़्रा’ ख़िलजी
१
मैं ख़बीस हूं
मैं ग़लीज़ हूं
मैं आवारगी कि वकील हूं
२
वो तरानौं कि मुजस्सम नूर मैं नहीं
वो फ़सानौं कि पाक हूर मैं नहीं
मैं ग़ुलाम-ए नफ़स हूं
मैं हबाब-ए हवस हूं
मैं ज़िन्दा हुं, फ़िगार हूं
मैं ख़ुदसरी कि मिनार हूं
मैं अना कि इन्तेहा भी हो सकती हूं
३
चाहे तुम मुझे कभी न छू सको
चाहे तुम मुझे मुर्दा-ए ख़स ओ ख़ाशाक हि समझो
मैं क्यूं झूटे अरमानौं कि क़तार बनूं
मैं ख़ुद-ग़र्ज़ उतनी हि हूं जितने तुम
मैं क्यूं पैकर-ए बे-ग़र्ज़ बनूं
मेरी ज़बां उतनी हि शीरीं है जितनी तुम्हारी
मैं क्यूं सनम-ए ख़ुश-अख़्लाक़ बनूं
४
मैं मा’मूली हूं
मुझ पे क्यूं ज़िम्मा हो मुम्ताज़ी का
तुम को ग़ुरूर है ख़ास होने पर
पर मुझ को ज़ियादा है अलम, सरफ़राज़ी का
५
गर तुम्हें शौक़-ए तबस्सुम है तो संग-ए मरमर का सनम ले आओ
मैं तुम्हारी ख़ुशी कि मुन्तज़िर नहीं हुं
मेरी जबीं कि सिल्वटें तुम्हारी ख़ुशी से नहीं मिटेंगी
मेरे आ’ज़ा-ए रुख़ की हरकत तुम्हारी ताब’ए नहीं है
तुम्हारी ख़ातेर भी नहीं है
६
मैं ज़ीनत का सामान नहीं हूं
मैं हया का फ़रमान नहीं हूं
मैं नज़ाकत नहीं जानती
मैं इबादत नहीं मानती
७
मैं तुम्हारी तवज्जोह की तलबगार नहीं हूं
तुम्हारे बग़ैर मुफ़्लिस ओ ख़्वार नहीं हूं
तुम्हारी हिमायतौं कि मोहसिन भी नहीं हूं
८
तुम्हारे महलौं की गर्द रहूं बरसौं
कहो, ये कैसा अहद-ए वफ़ा है
जब मैं वो तिलस्म-ए पुर-फ़न हूं
जिस ने तुम को जहांगी किया था
९
मैं महरूम-ए साहल नहीं हूं
मेरा तजस्सुस मुझे मे’राज पर ले चलेगा
सफ़ह-ए तारीख़ मुझे भूल भी जाएं
पर अहल-ए चफ़ा मेरी फ़ातेहा देंगे
१०
जिस्म ओ ज़हन कफ़न-पोश आज कई ज़मानौं से हैं
पर इन अय्याम-ए ज़ुल्मत में दरख़्शां है मजलिस मेरी
ये चर्चा आस्मानौं में है
११
मेरी क़ुव्वतें अयां हो चुकी हैं
सलासिल कब तक रोक सकेंगे
मदारेस कब तक टोक सकेंगे
मेरी जुम्बिश रवां हो चुकी है
१२
नज़्म-ए पिदरी से बग़ावत है तहरीक मेरी
कम-ज़ोर ओ कम-ज़र्फ़ नहीं है तज्वीज़ मेरी
मैं तुम्हारे विज़ारत-ख़ानौं का रुख़ भी कर चुकी हूं
अब ये ख़याल छोढ दो
के आराएश है तख़्लीक़ मेरी
Click here for background and on any passage for word meanings and explanatory discussion. iqra Khilji is young woman from ahmedabad. Trained as a lawyer and intends to practice law in ahmedabad. She writes very well about feminist issues. She has spent time in shaheen baaGh and participated in many “ehtejaaji mushaa’era” that were held all over India around Republic Day. This is one of her early compositions where she declares her defiance of patriarchy and mysogyny. English rendition is by the poet herself.
1
maiN Khabees1 huN
maiN Ghaleez2 huN
maiN aavaragi3 ki vakiil4 huN 1.wretched, corrupt 2. unclean 3.wandering 4.promoter, advocate
I am impure
I am unclean
I am an advocate of vagabondage
2
vo taraanauN1 ki mujassim2 noor3 maiN nahiN
vo fasaanauN4 ki paak5 huur6 maiN nahiN
maiN Ghulaam-e-nafas7 huN
maiN hubaab8-e havas9 huN
maiN zinda huN, figaar10 huN
maiN Khudsari11 ka minaar huN
maiN ana12 ki inteha13 bhi ho sakti huN 1.songs 2.embodiment 3.light 4.fables 5.pure, chaste 6.angel 7.slave of self (self-interest) 8.bubble 9.lust, desire 10.broken, wounded 11.obstinate 12.ego 13.limit
I am not the incarnate beauty and light from the songs
Nor am I the pure damsel of paradise from the epics
I am a slave to desire as much as you are
I am a bubble of desire and lust
I am fractured and broken and alive
I am a minaret of arrogance
I could also be the height of prudishness
3
chaahe tum mujhe kabhi na chhoo sako
chaahe tum mujhe murda1-e Khas-o-Khaashaak2 hi samjho
maiN kyuN jhooTe armaanauN3 ki qataar4 banuN
maiN Khud-Gharz5 utni hi huN, jitne tum
maiN kyuN paikar6-e be-Gharaz7 banuN
meri zabaaN utni hi shiriN8 hai jitni tumhaari
maiN kyuN sanam9-e Khush-aKhlaaq10 banuN 1.corpse 2.twigs and straw 3.desires 4.line, arrangement 5.selfish, self-serving 6.image, picture 7.unselfishness, altruism 8.sweet 9.idol, deity 10.well behaved, good natured
And you may never touch me
You may think of me as a corpse made of sticks and straws
Why should I be a constitution of false desire for you
But I will be as self-serving as you are
Why should I be the embodiment of altruism
My speech is as sweet as yours
Why must I be the deity of sacharine good-naturedness
4
maiN m’aamooli1 huN
mujh pe kyuN zimma2 ho mumtaazi3 ka
tum ko Ghuroor4 hai Khaas5 hone par
par mujh ko zyaada hai alam6, sarfaraazi7 ka 1.ordinary 2.responsibility 3.eminent, superiority 4.pride, hubris 5.special, chosen 6.sorrow 7.ahead, respected, honoured
I am ordinary, unremarkable
Why must I bear the burden of being distinguished for your sake
You take pride in being prodigious
But I am still sicker than you for eminence
5
gar1 tumheN shauq2-e tabassum3 hai to saNg-e-marmar4 ka sanam5 le aao
maiN tumhaari Khushi ki muntazir6 nahiN huN
meri jabiN7 ki silvaTeN8 tumhaari Khushi se nahiN miTeNgi
meri ‘aaza-e-ruKh9 ki harkat10 tumhaari taab’e11 nahiN hai
tumhaari Khaatir12 bhi nahiN hai 1.if 2.desire 3.smiles 4.marble 5.idol 6.waiting for 7.forehead, brow 8.furrows, lines 9.parts/feature of the face 10.movement, changes 11.obedience, control 12.for
If you have a fondness for beaming faces, get yourself an idol of marble
(I am not waiting upon your pleasure)
The lines on my brow will not fade for your happiness
The expressions on my countenance do not obey you
Nor are they for your sake
6
maiN zeenat1 ka saamaan nahiN huN
maiN haya2 ka farmaan3 nahiN huN
maiN nazaakat4 nahiN jaanti
maiN ibaadat5 nahiN maanti 1.embellishment, beautification 2.modesty 3.edict 4.delicate, dainty 5.worship
I am not a thing of beauty
I am not a mandate of modesty
I do not know daintiness
I do not recognize worship
7
maiN tumhaari tavajjuh1 ki talabgaar2 nahiN huN
tumhaare baGhair3 muflis4 o Khwaar5 nahiN huN
maiN tumhaari qaisari6 ki mahkoom7 nahiN rahi 1.attention 2.demand, seek 3.without 4.pauper, destitute 5.rejected, maligned 6.monarchy 7.subject to
I am not a seeker of your attention
Nor am I destitute and miserable in your absence
I do not want to be obliged by your patronage any longer
8
tumhaari himaayatauN1 ki mohsin2 bhi nahiN rahi
tumhaare mahlauN3 ki gard4 rahuN barsauN5
kaho ye kaisa ahd-e-vafa6 tha
jab maiN vo tilasm7-e pur-fun8 huN
jis ne tum ko jahaaNgir kiya tha 1.assistance, help 2.obliged to 3.palaces 4.dust 5.ages 6.promise of fidelity 7.enchantment, talisman 8.full of art/talent
I am not a subject of your kingship
And that I be the dormant sand of your castle
Say, how this a promise of your fidelity
When I was the artful talisman
That made you jahaaNgiir
9
maiN mahroom1-e saahil2 nahiN huN
mera tajassus3 mujhe me’raaj4 par le chalega
safah5-e tareeKh6 mujhe bhool bhi jaayeN
par ahl-e-vafa7 meri faateha8 deNge 1.deprived 2.shore 3.seeking, effort 4.climax 5.pages 6.hisotry 7.faithful 8.blessings
I am not a wave deprived of a shore
I am riding for the heavens on my curiosity
The pages of history may fade me to oblivion
But the faithful will invoke blessings upon me
10
jism1 o zahan2 kafan-posh3 aaj kaii zamaanauN4 se haiN
par is ayyaam5-e zulmat6 meN daraKhshaaN7 hai majlis8 meri
ye charcha9 aasmaanauN meN hai 1.body 2.mind 3.wearing a (burial) shroud 4.ages 5.days, times 6.darkness 7.shining 8.gathering 9.talk, conversation
I have lived in a shroud for ages
But in these gloomy times my congregation is radiant
And such is the gossip of heaven
11
meri quvvateN1 ayaaN2 ho chuki haiN
salaasil3 kab tak rok sakeNge
madaaris4 kab tak Tok5 sakeNge
meri jumbisheN6 ravaaN7 ho chuki haiN 1.power 2.apparent, reveal 3.chains, shackles 4.(religious) schools 5.rebuke 6.movement 7.flowing, moving
My powers have long been revealed
How much longer can shackles hold me back
How much longer can madrasaas rebuke me
My crusade has long been afoot
12
nizaam-e-pidari1 se baGhaawat2 hai tahreek3 meri
kamzor4 o kam-zarf5 nahiN hai tajveez6 meri
maiN tumhaare vizaarat-KhaanauN7 ka ruKh8 bhi kar chuki huN
ab ye Khayaal chhoR do
keh aaraa’esh9 hai taKhleeq10 meri 1.rule of the father figure, patriarchy 2.rebellion 3.movement, organization 4.weak 5.not enough capacity/depth 6.proposals 7.ministries, centres of power 8.face, turn towards 9.embellishment, adornment 10.creation
My agitation is a mutiny against this patriarchy
My themes are neither weak nor gullible
I have now taken to the houses of power from where you oppress me
It is time that you know
That my creation was not the ornamentation of your world
iqra Khilji is young woman from ahmedabad. Trained as a lawyer and intends to practice law in ahmedabad. She writes very well about feminist issues. She has spent time in shaheen baaGh and participated in many “ehtejaaji mushaa’era” that were held all over India around Republic Day. This is one of her early compositions where she declares her defiance of patriarchy and mysogyny. English rendition is by the poet herself.
1
maiN Khabees1 huN
maiN Ghaleez2 huN
maiN aavaragi3 ki vakiil4 huN
1.wretched, corrupt 2. unclean 3.wandering 4.promoter, advocate
I am impure
I am unclean
I am an advocate of vagabondage
2
vo taraanauN1 ki mujassim2 noor3 maiN nahiN
vo fasaanauN4 ki paak5 huur6 maiN nahiN
maiN Ghulaam-e-nafas7 huN
maiN hubaab8-e havas9 huN
maiN zinda huN, figaar10 huN
maiN Khudsari11 ka minaar huN
maiN ana12 ki inteha13 bhi ho sakti huN
1.songs 2.embodiment 3.light 4.fables 5.pure, chaste 6.angel 7.slave of self (self-interest) 8.bubble 9.lust, desire 10.broken, wounded 11.obstinate 12.ego 13.limit
I am not the incarnate beauty and light from the songs
Nor am I the pure damsel of paradise from the epics
I am a slave to desire as much as you are
I am a bubble of desire and lust
I am fractured and broken and alive
I am a minaret of arrogance
I could also be the height of prudishness
3
chaahe tum mujhe kabhi na chhoo sako
chaahe tum mujhe murda1-e Khas-o-Khaashaak2 hi samjho
maiN kyuN jhooTe armaanauN3 ki qataar4 banuN
maiN Khud-Gharz5 utni hi huN, jitne tum
maiN kyuN paikar6-e be-Gharaz7 banuN
meri zabaaN utni hi shiriN8 hai jitni tumhaari
maiN kyuN sanam9-e Khush-aKhlaaq10 banuN
1.corpse 2.twigs and straw 3.desires 4.line, arrangement 5.selfish, self-serving 6.image, picture 7.unselfishness, altruism 8.sweet 9.idol, deity 10.well behaved, good natured
And you may never touch me
You may think of me as a corpse made of sticks and straws
Why should I be a constitution of false desire for you
But I will be as self-serving as you are
Why should I be the embodiment of altruism
My speech is as sweet as yours
Why must I be the deity of sacharine good-naturedness
4
maiN m’aamooli1 huN
mujh pe kyuN zimma2 ho mumtaazi3 ka
tum ko Ghuroor4 hai Khaas5 hone par
par mujh ko zyaada hai alam6, sarfaraazi7 ka
1.ordinary 2.responsibility 3.eminent, superiority 4.pride, hubris 5.special, chosen 6.sorrow 7.ahead, respected, honoured
I am ordinary, unremarkable
Why must I bear the burden of being distinguished for your sake
You take pride in being prodigious
But I am still sicker than you for eminence
5
gar1 tumheN shauq2-e tabassum3 hai to saNg-e-marmar4 ka sanam5 le aao
maiN tumhaari Khushi ki muntazir6 nahiN huN
meri jabiN7 ki silvaTeN8 tumhaari Khushi se nahiN miTeNgi
meri ‘aaza-e-ruKh9 ki harkat10 tumhaari taab’e11 nahiN hai
tumhaari Khaatir12 bhi nahiN hai
1.if 2.desire 3.smiles 4.marble 5.idol 6.waiting for 7.forehead, brow 8.furrows, lines 9.parts/feature of the face 10.movement, changes 11.obedience, control 12.for
If you have a fondness for beaming faces, get yourself an idol of marble
(I am not waiting upon your pleasure)
The lines on my brow will not fade for your happiness
The expressions on my countenance do not obey you
Nor are they for your sake
6
maiN zeenat1 ka saamaan nahiN huN
maiN haya2 ka farmaan3 nahiN huN
maiN nazaakat4 nahiN jaanti
maiN ibaadat5 nahiN maanti
1.embellishment, beautification 2.modesty 3.edict 4.delicate, dainty 5.worship
I am not a thing of beauty
I am not a mandate of modesty
I do not know daintiness
I do not recognize worship
7
maiN tumhaari tavajjuh1 ki talabgaar2 nahiN huN
tumhaare baGhair3 muflis4 o Khwaar5 nahiN huN
maiN tumhaari qaisari6 ki mahkoom7 nahiN rahi
1.attention 2.demand, seek 3.without 4.pauper, destitute 5.rejected, maligned 6.monarchy 7.subject to
I am not a seeker of your attention
Nor am I destitute and miserable in your absence
I do not want to be obliged by your patronage any longer
8
tumhaari himaayatauN1 ki mohsin2 bhi nahiN rahi
tumhaare mahlauN3 ki gard4 rahuN barsauN5
kaho ye kaisa ahd-e-vafa6 tha
jab maiN vo tilasm7-e pur-fun8 huN
jis ne tum ko jahaaNgir kiya tha
1.assistance, help 2.obliged to 3.palaces 4.dust 5.ages 6.promise of fidelity 7.enchantment, talisman 8.full of art/talent
I am not a subject of your kingship
And that I be the dormant sand of your castle
Say, how this a promise of your fidelity
When I was the artful talisman
That made you jahaaNgiir
9
maiN mahroom1-e saahil2 nahiN huN
mera tajassus3 mujhe me’raaj4 par le chalega
safah5-e tareeKh6 mujhe bhool bhi jaayeN
par ahl-e-vafa7 meri faateha8 deNge
1.deprived 2.shore 3.seeking, effort 4.climax 5.pages 6.hisotry 7.faithful 8.blessings
I am not a wave deprived of a shore
I am riding for the heavens on my curiosity
The pages of history may fade me to oblivion
But the faithful will invoke blessings upon me
10
jism1 o zahan2 kafan-posh3 aaj kaii zamaanauN4 se haiN
par is ayyaam5-e zulmat6 meN daraKhshaaN7 hai majlis8 meri
ye charcha9 aasmaanauN meN hai
1.body 2.mind 3.wearing a (burial) shroud 4.ages 5.days, times 6.darkness 7.shining 8.gathering 9.talk, conversation
I have lived in a shroud for ages
But in these gloomy times my congregation is radiant
And such is the gossip of heaven
11
meri quvvateN1 ayaaN2 ho chuki haiN
salaasil3 kab tak rok sakeNge
madaaris4 kab tak Tok5 sakeNge
meri jumbisheN6 ravaaN7 ho chuki haiN
1.power 2.apparent, reveal 3.chains, shackles 4.(religious) schools 5.rebuke 6.movement 7.flowing, moving
My powers have long been revealed
How much longer can shackles hold me back
How much longer can madrasaas rebuke me
My crusade has long been afoot
12
nizaam-e-pidari1 se baGhaawat2 hai tahreek3 meri
kamzor4 o kam-zarf5 nahiN hai tajveez6 meri
maiN tumhaare vizaarat-KhaanauN7 ka ruKh8 bhi kar chuki huN
ab ye Khayaal chhoR do
keh aaraa’esh9 hai taKhleeq10 meri
1.rule of the father figure, patriarchy 2.rebellion 3.movement, organization 4.weak 5.not enough capacity/depth 6.proposals 7.ministries, centres of power 8.face, turn towards 9.embellishment, adornment 10.creation
My agitation is a mutiny against this patriarchy
My themes are neither weak nor gullible
I have now taken to the houses of power from where you oppress me
It is time that you know
That my creation was not the ornamentation of your world
1
I am impure
I am unclean
I am an advocate of vagabondage
2
I am not the incarnate beauty and light from the songs
Nor am I the pure damsel of paradise from the epics
I am a slave to desire as much as you are
I am a bubble of desire and lust
I am fractured and broken and alive
I am a minaret of arrogance
I could also be the height of prudishness
3
And you may never touch me
You may think of me as a corpse made of sticks and straws
Why should I be a constitution of false desire for you
But I will be as self-serving as you are
Why should I be the embodiment of altruism
My speech is as sweet as yours
Why must I be the deity of sacharine good-naturedness
4
I am ordinary, unremarkable
Why must I bear the burden of being distinguished for your sake
You take pride in being prodigious
But I am still sicker than you for eminence
5
If you have a fondness for beaming faces, get yourself an idol of marble
The lines on my brow will not fade for your happiness
The expressions on my countenance do not obey you
Nor are they for your sake
6
I am not a thing of beauty
I am not a mandate of modesty
I do not know daintiness
I do not recognize worship
7
I am not a seeker of your attention
Nor am I destitute and miserable in your absence
I do not want to be obliged by your patronage any longer
8
I am not a subject of your kingship
And that I be the dormant sand of your castle
Say, how this a promise of your fidelity
When I was the artful talisman
That made you jahaaNgiir
9
I am not a wave deprived of a shore
I am riding for the heavens on my curiosity
The pages of history may fade me to oblivion
But the faithful will invoke blessings upon me
10
I have lived in a shroud for ages
But in these gloomy times my congregation is radiant
And such is the gossip of heaven
11
My powers have long been revealed
How much longer can shackles hold me back
How much longer can madrasaas rebuke me
My crusade has long been afoot
12
My agitation is a mutiny against this patriarchy
My themes are neither weak nor gullible
I have now taken to the houses of power from where you oppress me
It is time that you know
That my creation was not the ornamentation of your world
We need more women like her – never heard of her but will research more about her!