kuchh na eKhtiyaar apna-mir abdul hai taabaaN

For word meanings and explanatory discussion in English click on the tabs marked “Roman” or “Notes”.

کچھ بھی اختیار اپنا ۔ میر عبدالحی تاباںؔ

۱

کئی دن ہو گئے یارب نہیں دیکھا ہے یار اپنا

ہوا معلوم یوں شاید کیا کم ان نے پیار اپنا

۲

ہَوا بھی عشق کی لگنے نہ دیتا میں اسے ہرگز

اگر اس دل پہ ہوتا ہائے کچھ بھی اختیار اپنا

۳

یہ دونوں لازم و ملزوم ہیں گویا کہ آپس میں

نہ یار اپنا کبھو ہوتے سنانے روزگار اپنا

۴

ہُوا ہوں خاک اس کے غم میں تو بھی سینہ صافی سے

نہیں کھوتا ہے وہ آئینہ رو دل سے غبار اپنا

۵

یہ شعلہ سا تمہارا رنگ کچھ زور ہی جھمکتا ہے

جلا کیوں کر نہ دوں میں خِرمنِ صبر و قرار اپنا

۶

سرِ فِتراک تھا اس کو نہ تھا لیکن نصیبوں میں

تڑپتا چھوڑ کر جاتا رہا ظالم شکار اپنا

۷

تجھے لازم ہے ہونا مہرباں تاباںؔ پہ اے ظالم

کہ ہے بیتاب اپنا عاشق اپنا بے قرار اپنا

 

कुछ भी एख़्तियार अपना – वली मोहम्मद वली दक्खनी

कई दिन हो गए या-रब नहीं देखा है यार अपना

हुआ मालूम यूँ शायद किया कम उन ने प्यार अपना

हवा भी इश्क़ की लगने न देता मैं उसे हरगिज़

अगर इस दिल पे होता हाए कुछ भी एख़्तियार अपना

ये दोनो लाज़िम-ओ-मलज़ूम हैं गोया के आपस में

न यार अपना कभू होते सुनाने रोज़गार अपना

हुआ हूँ ख़ाक उस के ग़म में तो भी सीना-साफ़ी से

नहीं खोता है वो आईना-रू दिल से ग़ुबार अपना

ये शो’ला सा तुम्हारा रंग कुछ ज़ोर ही झमकता है

जला क्यूँकर न दूँ मैं ख़िर्मन-ए सब्र-ओ-क़रार अपना

सर-ए फ़ितराक था उस को न था लेकिन नसीबों में

तढपता छोढ कर जाता रहा ज़ालिम शिकार अपना

तुझे लाज़िम है होना मेहरबाँ ताबाँ प अए ज़ालिम

के है बेताब अपना आशिक़ अपना बे-क़रार अपना

 

Click here for background and on any passage for word meanings and explanatory discussion. mir abdul hai taabaaN (1715-1749) , shahjahaanabad. Died young (due to excessive drinking) but left a sizable body of urdu and some faarsi compositions. vali dakkhani’s visit to dehli in 1700 helped spur the move of Ghazal from faarsi to urdu among the literati. I don’t know much about him or his source of income but it is reported that he was a courtier of emperor shah aalam. Many contemporaneous poets have written about his good looks and called him yusuf-e saani – a second Joseph (who is reported to have been very handsome). This Ghazal of the same radeef-qaafiya as Ghalib’s ‘mizshgaan-e aahu push-Khaar apna’ is linked to Ghalib peshrau-hamqadam and also to Ghalib naqsh-e qadam primarily to mark the continuity of radeef-qaafiya over time.
1
ka’ii din ho gaye yarab1 nahiN dekha hai yaar2 apna
hua maaloom3 yuN shaa’ed4 kiya kam un ne pyaar apna    
1.god 2.beloved 3.know, learn 4.perhaps
It has been quite a few days, O god, that I have not seen my beloved. I am learning that perhaps she loves me less now.

2
hava1 bhi ishq ki lagne na deta maiN use hargiz2
agar3 is dil pe hota haa’e kuchh bhi eKhtiyaar4 apna   
1.‘hava lagne nahiN dena’ is an expression meaning ‘will not let something come anywhere near’ 2.under any circumstance 3.if 4.control, authority
Under no circumstances would I have allowed love to come anywhere near my heart, if I had had any control over it.

3
ye dono laazim1 o malzoom2 haiN goya3 keh aapas meN
na yaar4 apna kabhu hote sunaa, ne5 rozgaar6 apna    
1.to mandate 2.that which has been mandated 3.as if 4.friend, beloved 5.daily life
The dono – both in the first misra are – yaar ka apna hona i.e., getting the beloved to agree and rozgaar apna hona i.e., making a good life/livelihood. They are both necessary and mandated but it seems as if they have come to a mutual agreement that neither one nor the other can be achieved.

4
hua huN Khaak1 us ke Gham meN to bhi sina-saafi2 se
nahiN khota3 hai vo aaiina-ruu4 dil se Ghubaar5 apna    
1.dust, of no value 2.cleaning the breast/heart 3.lose, shed 4.mirror/shining faced, beloved 5.dust, ill feeling, not trusting
I have become like dust with sorrow because of (unrequited love of) her. The beloved harbours annoyance/suspicion towards him. Thus, even after grinding himself into the dust, even after doing ‘siina-saafi’ (coming clean with explanation about whatever the beloved is annoyed with, the aaiina-ruu beloved does not lose her ‘Ghubaar’ i.e., does not get rid of her ill feeling.

5
ye sho’la1 sa tumhaara raNg kuchh zor2 hi jhamakta3 hai
jala kyuNkar na duN maiN Khirman4-e sabr5 o qaraar6 apna    
1.flame, shine 2.power, strength 3.sparkles 4.harvest, store, treasure 5.patience 6.peace of mind
Your complexion, like a flame, sparkles with great strength (perhaps she is angry). The poet has maintained a long period of ‘sabr o qaraar’, so he has a store of the harvest of it. This seems to suggest that he thinks that it is time for him to let this harvest burn … perhaps with the sho’la of her beauty. This appears to me to be a contemplation of something not normally allowed by convention. Quite what he proposes to do, is not clear.

6
sar-e fitraak1 tha us ko na tha laikin nasiboN2 meN
taRapta3 chhoR kar jaata raha zaalim4 shikaar5 apna    
1.hunted prey 2.fate 3.writhing in pain 4.cruel, beloved 5.hunter’s kill
It was in her power, she could have cut the head of the hunted prey and carried it off with her. But that was not in my fate. The cruel beloved left the kill writhing in pain and went away.

7
text=” tujhe laazim1 hai hona mehrbaaN2 taabaaN3 pe aye zaalim4
keh hai betaab5 apna aashiq apna be-qaraar6 apna

mir abdul hai taabaaN (1715-1749) , shahjahaanabad.  Died young (due to excessive drinking) but left a sizable body of urdu and some faarsi compositions.  vali dakkhani’s visit to dehli in 1700 helped spur the move of Ghazal from faarsi to urdu among the literati.  I don’t know much about him or his source of income but it is reported that he was a courtier of emperor shah aalam.  Many contemporaneous poets have written about his good looks and called him yusuf-e saani – a second Joseph (who is reported to have been very handsome).  This Ghazal of the same radeef-qaafiya as Ghalib’s ‘mizshgaan-e aahu push-Khaar apna’ is linked to Ghalib peshrau-hamqadam and also to Ghalib naqsh-e qadam primarily to mark the continuity of radeef-qaafiya over time.
1
ka’ii din ho gaye yarab1 nahiN dekha hai yaar2 apna
hua maaloom3 yuN shaa’ed4 kiya kam un ne pyaar apna

1.god 2.beloved 3.know, learn 4.perhaps

It has been quite a few days, O god, that I have not seen my beloved.  I am learning that perhaps she loves me less now.
2
hava1 bhi ishq ki lagne na deta maiN use hargiz2
agar3 is dil pe hota haa’e kuchh bhi eKhtiyaar4 apna

1.‘hava lagne nahiN dena’ is an expression meaning ‘will not let something come anywhere near’ 2.under any circumstance 3.if 4.control, authority

Under no circumstances would I have allowed love to come anywhere near my heart, if I had had any control over it.
3
ye dono laazim1 o malzoom2 haiN goya3 keh aapas meN
na yaar4 apna kabhu hote sunaa, ne5 rozgaar6 apna

1.to mandate 2.that which has been mandated 3.as if 4.friend, beloved 5.daily life

The dono – both in the first misra are – yaar ka apna hona i.e., getting the beloved to agree and rozgaar apna hona i.e., making a good life/livelihood.  They are both necessary and mandated but it seems as if they have come to a mutual agreement that neither one nor the other can be achieved.
4
hua huN Khaak1 us ke Gham meN to bhi sina-saafi2 se
nahiN khota3 hai vo aaiina-ruu4 dil se Ghubaar5 apna

1.dust, of no value 2.cleaning the breast/heart 3.lose, shed 4.mirror/shining faced, beloved 5.dust, ill feeling, not trusting

I have become like dust with sorrow because of (unrequited love of) her.  The beloved harbours annoyance/suspicion towards him.  Thus, even after grinding himself into the dust, even after doing ‘siina-saafi’ (coming clean with explanation about whatever the beloved is annoyed with, the aaiina-ruu beloved does not lose her ‘Ghubaar’ i.e., does not get rid of her ill feeling.
5
ye sho’la1 sa tumhaara raNg kuchh zor2 hi jhamakta3 hai
jala kyuNkar na duN maiN Khirman4-e sabr5 o qaraar6 apna

1.flame, shine 2.power, strength 3.sparkles 4.harvest, store, treasure 5.patience 6.peace of mind

Your complexion, like a flame, sparkles with great strength (perhaps she is angry).  The poet has maintained a long period of ‘sabr o qaraar’, so he has a store of the harvest of it.  This seems to suggest that he thinks that it is time for him to let this harvest burn … perhaps with the sho’la of her beauty.  This appears to me to be a contemplation of something not normally allowed by convention.  Quite what he proposes to do, is not clear.
6
sar-e fitraak1 tha us ko na tha laikin nasiboN2 meN
taRapta3 chhoR kar jaata raha zaalim4 shikaar5 apna

1.hunted prey 2.fate 3.writhing in pain 4.cruel, beloved 5.hunter’s kill

It was in her power, she could have cut the head of the hunted prey and carried it off with her. But that was not in my fate.  The cruel beloved left the kill writhing in pain and went away.
7
tujhe laazim1 hai hona mehrbaaN2 taabaaN3 pe aye zaalim4
keh hai betaab5 apna aashiq apna be-qaraar6 apna

1.necessary, essential 2.kind 3.pen-name of the beloved 4.cruel one, beloved 5.eager 6.restless

It was necessary for you to be kind to taabaaN, O cruel beloved because after all he is yours – eager. loving and restless for you.